Unconventional is defined as not bound by conforming to convention, rule, or precedent, free from conventionality. Wow, well if that isn't as confusing as parenting I'm not sure what is. But when we think about it a little more I guess we could connect this Fortune Cookie Fortune to parenting in this way.
As a new parent, you read...and read...and read...and ask other parents, doctors, nurses, grandparents, for advice. Sometimes advice is just given whether we ask for it or not. We read about whether or not you should let your child 'cry it out', or sleep in your bed, or run the vacuum while they are sleeping. Throughout all of this you will also encounter those parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, and other relatives, as well as perhaps total strangers who judge, critique, and obviously know more about parenting than you do.
Then your child comes into this world and begins to grow and sometimes they fit into the text book version that you have been studying and sometimes they don't. More often than not, your child grows into a unique person with their own personality, thoughts, and feelings. So how do you parent conventionally? Sometimes you don't you come up with unconventional ways and become that visionary.
I have two boys ages 12 and 7 as I begin this blog in January 2012. Thinking back on our parenting skills and our current skills, I suppose some of them could be considered unconventional. Not in that ABC Monday Night movie type of way, more in the SuperNanny would be proud kind of way.
One of the unconventional things we do as parents is our homework routines. Our oldest son struggles with a learning disability and attention issues and absolutely hated to do homework. It was hard. He didn't like to do it and he could think of 101 other things he would rather do. We tried a variety of things to get him to do his homework and most of them ended up in one of us or both of us either shouting or crying. Then we created the work charts. A page of boxes! A chart. When he was younger the chart was made up of about 50-75 boxes, now that we are 12, we've moved to 100 boxes. At the end of the work chart is a reward. Sometimes an event or outing, but more often than not a Lego set of some kind. Work charts can also have increased boxes if the Lego set is a pricey one!
With each page of homework, chapters of books read, subject studying, etc a box is crossed off. On a good night with reading, spelling, math, science, and grammar - a typical homework night, he can cross off 5 to 6 boxes (sometimes he does more than one spelling assignment at night because he likes it - get it he likes it....now).
While other parents and teachers have given a disapproving look when we tell them about the work chart - we don't mind. It has changed the homework environment in our house. Homework is completed. Grades have improved. Atmosphere is pleasant. Unconventional...but it works.
So then the younger child came along. He doesn't struggle as much overall with his studies, but reading was a challenge for him. As a first grader he has three assignments every night. Practice math facts, reading, and spelling words. Because big brother has a work chart, little brother wanted a work chart too - okay. His usually do not have quite so many boxes on them, but he can cross off a box for doing math flashcards, sight word flashcards, and practicing spelling words. He can earn another box for reading a book. It usually takes several weeks sometimes longer to cross off all of the boxes on the work chart.
Many times as parents we have to do creative things to help our children succeed. Sometimes they can even be considered unconventional, and I doubt that many parents would give ourselves the credit to be visionaries. But for our children...sometimes we have to be the visionaries for our children.
